


2jin Oneshot - Thank you for making this night a little bit lighter.

by KarmaSansan



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 2jin - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 16:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarmaSansan/pseuds/KarmaSansan
Summary: It's one of those nights for Hyunjin, her heart hurts badly and threatens to explode. As her breath burns her throat and her vision gets blurry, she hears a voice, that would finally bring comfort. This story is a soft 2jin where Heejin helps her friend take a step to heal, and open up while strengthening their bond.





	2jin Oneshot - Thank you for making this night a little bit lighter.

It was one of those nights for Hyunjin. A night when she didn't feel good. When she couldn't sleep and an unnerving feeling fell upon her. Sometimes it was just some sort of restlessness, accompanied by sadness, frustration, or blatant emptiness, But today was... Harsh.

Hynjin's feelings hit her hard, more than what she was used to, she didn't know what to do. In her bed, sweating, she couldn't bear it tonight. Her eyes started burning and something, wet at first, was now streaming down her face, to land on her pillow. She could only hear her breath, progressively getting faster and hotter, which made her irritated. Greeting her teeth, she grunts, pulling off her sheet to get up. Quietly, she took a step in the room, where all the other members slept. Hyunjin got out safely, but she started shaking badly, and a hard sob arrived as soon as she closed the door.

She walked to the bathroom, it was happening again. She could hardly breathe, clenching her heart as she tried to get to the location, Hyunjin felt sick and incredibly exhausted. Her legs wobbled, she was now panting, still, she tried to calm herself down, but it was too hard, trying to calm her heart made everything more painful, even more than what she already felt. Sometimes she felt like she could die, because of how unbearable and difficult it was to keep all these feelings and thoughts inside her, all the time. Hyunjin wanted to show the others, and herself, that she could be good, and happy. But every night, her brain kept forcing her to get hurt more.

Hyunjin stopped in her tracks, now clutching the kitchen's counter, she was sobbing uncontrollably and if she wasn't holding on to something solid, she felt like she could collapse at any moment. Hyunjin was so desperate for all of this to stop, she thought she could endure it, she really did, she tried to make her own self believe that everything was going to be okay, that all these hardships would go away, but it wasn't the case. She knew that technically she could talk to the others, but she didn't want to, she wanted to be strong, to take care of it herself, but more than anything, she was scared to show that part of herself to the members, the dark one. Everyone had ups and downs, but she knew by now that she was sick. As an idol, she wouldn't want to have anything "like that" troubling her, she wants to fulfill her career, her passion, her dream... Her life. She thought that her life as it is now might stop if someone knew. If someone told her she wasn't okay. She doesn't want to get kicked out, she doesn't want any misunderstandings. But... It's been so long now, that these feelings hurt her, changed parts of her... She dreaded the moment someone would know about her real feelings, that what she had now, as well as how people see her and appreciate her, would change... In a bad way. Hyunjin also knew that, as much as her pain grew and as much as she tried to hide it and bury it deep inside her, at some point, it would all rash out and someone WILL know. It was inevitable, as it was part of her.

But she just can't bear with everything tonight, her fears, her feelings, all of it. So she thought that maybe, just maybe, she should stop everything. She was scared, but for a brief instant, disappearing didn't felt so bad... Was it? Then she was shaking even more violently, she almost got to the hallway, to get to the bathroom, but instead, she pressed herself on the wall, her arms between her head and the cold wall.

Hyunjin has been quiet all this time, but now she couldn't control herself, she felt extremely sad and somber, why couldn't she be happy for a long period? Why can't she move on? Why does she have to feel like this? How could she think of ending her life? She was angry at herself, at everything. Then her breathing quickened, it hurt, she chocked on her breath and tears, with slight grunts, grunts of pain. 

The hope she had at some point long ago burned to ashes and swayed away, following the wind's rhythm; this air all around us, represents the world, and just like a gust of wind, all that she could depend on vanished, while the world kept moving after stealing the glimmer in her eyes. As she fell, locked away from everyone with darkness deep inside her, someone destroyed everything, someone forced hate and sadness into Hyunin's new empty heart, and that someone was her. She is to blame, even after thinking that "hey, maybe I shouldn't blame myself for everything", just when she started believing that even a little, tonight, her brain forced her into a terrible way of living, a way to live where your own feelings feel unreal and unknown, scary, disgusting. She chokes, she can't anymore. She can't. She can't. She's hurt, badly injured... She wants to sleep.

Then. She heard something... Or someone, that got her completely out of her trance. "...Hyunjin?" It was a voice, which sounded worried, confused. Hyunjin recognized that voice, she quickly turned to see who called out to her, it was Heejin. As soon as Hyunjin saw her, she panicked, 'Not... Why does she have to be here? she thought, a cold shiver shocking her whole body, should she run away? Hide? Scream? She couldn't just evaporate... Heejin immediately saw Hyunjin's expression on her face, but the girl, who was shaking, stepped away from Heejin. Heejin, alarmed, got to the girl fast, "Hyunjin..!" she called, as she tried to grab the sobbing girl's wrists, to which the other girl replied by pushing Heejin away, her whole body trembling, as she cried. Heejin tightened her grip, then took Hyunjin in her arms as the taller girl struggled against her. After a moment, she stopped, finally indulging into the hug. Heejin was holding the girl strongly, pressing her whole self on her, then she rubbed her back, slowly. Hyunjin hugged back after some time, then uglily cried, it was loud, all the pain she felt, threatening to turn her insides all around and leave her dead because of how much it hurt, and how much it left her empty afterward, was now coming out strong, finally. At this moment, her cries felt much more relieving. Heejin greeted her teeth, hugging the girl tightly, warmly, softly. Hyunjin's cries went down a little, her friend then whispered "It's going to be okay... I'm here Hyunjin, I'm here... It's okay, don't be scared. We are all here for you." her whisper was shacky but sincere, and Hyunjin cried a bit more, she could almost melt into this hug if she didn't feel that much pressure right now. The room fell silent, except for Heejin's slow "Shh, it's going to be okay".

After some time, they retreated back, but Heejin was still holding Hyunjin's shoulders, folding her shirt, staring at the girl. Hyunjin looked away, she was ashamed, and scared, still red from all the crying and sobbing. "Hyunjin... What's happening?" asked Heejin in a troubled tone. "..." Hyunjin frowned, gulped, then sighed. Tears fell down her face, she looked straight to Heejin with a sorrowful expression and said "I don't know... I think I'm broken, I can't do anything...I'm desperate Heejin... I don't know what to do, I-I just can't anymore..." It hurt Heejin, seeing one of the people she cared about the most be in this much pain, and it hurt her even more when she knew that she just witnessed Hyunjin breaking down, especially when then said "help me... I'm scared... to do bad things, to you, the others- to me! Because of... me. " she cried once more, it was softer, but also desperate, Hyunjin was about to completely collapse... Heejin immediately took Hyunjin hands and put her forehead onto hers, then she got her own hands to her dearest friend's cheeks, wiping the tears and caressing her. "I care about you Hyunjin, a lot... Please, I'm here, everyone is here, don't give up... I love you so much, if you go, me- the others we'll-! We can't be here without you! I want to help you feel better, okay? You can talk to me if you want, even if you feel like it is complicated... I'll do my best to understand, I'll do my best for you, okay?" said Heejin, holding back her tears, her voice cracked, but the words she pronounced reassured Hyunjin "You can rely on me, on us, don't forget...". Hyunjin took Heejin's hand in hers, then buried her head in Heejin's chest, the heat escaping her friend wasn't the painful heat escaping her mouth previously, "I promise I won't hide anymore, I-I... I rejected all of you when I needed help, I shouldn't have- I'm s-sorry-!" She whispered slowly, sobs still in between her words. Heejin put her free hand on Hyunjin's back, this time the hug was more soft and sweet than the previous one, Hyunjin relaxed then put her other hand up her friend's neck. The air didn't burn as much as previously, it didn't oppress her anymore, she could... actually breathe now, surprisingly. 'How can she make me feel better, just like that?' thought Hyunjin.

After a while, they broke apart and Heejin decided to get some fresh air with Hyunjin, to sit down in the park, and drink hot drinks after she taking some out of their dorm. It was winter so they dressed warmly before going outside, especially Hyunjin since the breakdown made her feel hot, Heejin didn't want her to get sick.  
They walked some time before arriving at their location, the park's lights were illuminating their path to a bench. They settled down, Hyunjin took a sip of her drink, hot chocolate, looking down at the steam escaping her mouth. She still felt uneasy, but was more calm and "stable" than before 'I like being with Heejin... I really hope she's okay with what she's seen tonight...'

Then finally, they talked a lot. Hyunjin talked about how she felt depressed, she was happy when she was with the others, doing things, enjoying moments with them, but it didn't last and a grim feeling always loomed over her. She mentioned how she was scared to lose everything, scared to lose total interest in music, in hobbies. Hyunjin also explained events that happened and that were parts of why she felt that way. She talked about her feelings, the future, her nights. Her and Heejin talked about many things, Heejin also mentioned things about her. They shared a refreshing moment, that relieved Hyunjin from her extreme stress and explosive feelings. It didn't cure what she had, but it still was important to her recovery. It also strengthened the bond between them, and Heejin was happy to help another member and her close friend by sharing such intimate feelings, both of them.

Snowflakes appeared. The girls commented about how pretty it was. "Heejin." said Hyunjin "Yeah?", Replied the older one. "I feel good with you" breathed Hyunjin, with a low voice, as she got closer to Heejin. Heejin smiled sweetly, then Hyunjin took her friend's hand and settled herself on Heejin's shoulder, it was cold so Hyunjin put Heejin's hand in her pocket. The older girl was surprised by Hyunjin's behavior, but it was to be expected with the vents of tonight, she thought. "You know, we all felt that you weren't "okay" lately... I wanted to talk to you about it but didn't know when was the right time, and I didn't want to upset you if you were feeling good at certain moments. But it happened today and I'm happy that you... Confided in me" gently said Heejin with a smile, Hyunjin replied with a shy smirk "Even if I tease you, you still try to help me, I was especially scared of you finding out about me... I anticipated this moment, I thought about how I would tell you sometimes, or even the others, but it felt wrong... Then tonight happened and I just couldn't help it in the end, I... opened up to you" Hyunjin looked away, Heejin replies, while chuckling "I know you don't tease me in a mean way, and sometimes I do the same with you so that's okay" She continues, "But, why did you anticipate me the most?" Hyunjin looked at the ground, getting a bit red, was it the cold? or because of how much she cried? "Because I-I like you a lot, we've known each other for a while and-... We're close, I guess" Heejin giggled, and jokingly replied "Wow, Kim Hyunjin told me she likes me instead of saying she likes bread...!" "Hey, shut up! I take back what I said!" Said Hyunjin, pushing Heejin away "Ah, too bad!" Replied Heejin. They then proceeded to tease each other, and after laughing, they came back to their dorm.

The dorm was quiet, it was still night and they should soon head to bed to rest after all that happened. Hyunjin tucked on Heejin's sleeve "Hey... I wanted to say thank you for tonight, I really appreciate what you did." Said sincerely Hyunjin, she was still a bit beaten up, Heejin knew this, but tonight's heaviness got a bit lighter. "Ah, don't worry. I know it's difficult and shouldn't be taken lightly, so if you need anything, my door is always opened" said Heejin with insistence "Mine too, Heejin." Smiled the bread lover as she continued "It's still a bit hard for me to talk about my feelings it's weird, but I'll try more. Also, I am a good listener when I want to!" They smile at each other. 'Should I mention that to her..?' thought Hyunjin. "Hey, um..." Hyunjin took some steps closer towards Heejin. Heejin stood there, the atmosphere suddenly turning more moving, affecting. Hyunjin extends her hand to Heejin's neck, bringing their head closer "I really like you, Heejin" confessed Hyunjin, in a serious manner. She watched Heejin, stared at her face, blushing slightly. The shorter girl blushed too "...me too" admitted Heejin. Hyunjin didn't want to move too fast, and her heart wouldn't allow that tonight, even if she did wish to stay by Heejin's side longer, she just briefly hugged her, but it was enough to convey their good feelings. They told each other goodnight and went to bed. Hyunjin could sleep more easily tonight, and more relaxed, even if she questioned why did she have to be this "explicit" this night towards Heejin. But she knows that tomorrow, she'll just smile at her again and eventually one day, she'll completely be ready to engage herself in something more... With the others, and especially Heejin...? Ahh, she was going a bit far now, but at least she dreamt tonight and thought of sweet, nice things. It was great and heartwarming. For Heejin's case, she was in her bed, and had taken a bit more time to fall asleep, she still needed time to process what Hyunjin confessed about her situation, but more than anything, she wondered why her heart fluttered this much just by Hyunjin's last words and touch. She already felt that some times, but now was more "revealing than before". Is that even what meant Hyunjin? It didn't matter anyway, cause tonight ended well. And tomorrow looks brighter.

Hyunjin ends up opening more to the other members about her feelings and life. She now has a little bit of hope compared to before. Of course, that does not make her whole pain disappear, but she is happy about the whole new situation, and the fact that she somehow advanced in life, even by little steps. It's weird, but with the support of others, she feels like she can move on at some point. It's not done, and the struggles still exist, but tonight she could sleep well. Besides, she really likes Heejin (and the other members of course), so hey, that might also do something else that's great. One day she'll completely acknowledge her feelings towards the brunette, but for now, she's her own priority, and self-love is important before loving someone else unconditionally, even if they appreciate each other almost as much as that. Everything goes its own pace, and Hyunjin, little by little, gets happier with the others.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm the author of this fanfic, 2jin "Thank you for making this night a bit lighter"! I hope you liked it, it's my first time writing something that I will be posting and in English, I generally write in French, I study literature and such, I think I'm better at writing in French, but I wanted to work on a fanfic in English. I'm bilingual, so I'm fluent in English and French but I study in France, so yeah... I wrote this story, and I'll do more! :D It was a bit depressing, I know, there's angst, but it ends well! It this short little fanfic, I wanted to portray some times that we may all have, of course, the gravity and intensity that we feel at this moment is proper and unique to anyone. That's why I left the question of "why is she feeling like this?" in a mysterious state, and wanted to focus on a situation that becomes problematic, but ends well with support as Hyunjin heals herself, nobody can actually make her do that, but the members/friends can support, help and push her to get better. This situation can happen to anyone, even idols, and I wanted to show that it's not the end even if we feel like it is, and that support is important. Keeping our feelings inside is an okay way to learn about ourselves and get stronger, but getting overwhelmed by them is unhealthy and makes us isolate ourselves. So, we have to balance between keeping our "hidden feelings", and indulging ourselves in others. Anyway, I'm talking too much, thank you for reading!! You can give feedbacks, vote, subscribe to me, or do whatever you want. Bye :P


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